Guest Rant by Kamryn Everett
Two years ago in February, I walked into a local branch of a big box retailer and was taken by surprise when I saw a large display of blooming hydrangeas for sale. The gorgeous blue, pink, and purple plumes of flowers sat glowing in the middle of the sales floor like rays of warm summer light piercing the icy shield of winter’s gloom, beckoning to all impulse buyers alike.
I guess if you wanted to take the time to properly acclimate them to this hemisphere, the price isn’t bad!
Immediately I wondered if someone from logistics had made a mistake and accidentally rerouted the summer blooming shrubs meant for a store in Australia to one here in the northern hemisphere. I thought surely it was a fluke and not something that would happen again. That is until last year when it happened again. And I doubt this year will be any different.
Forcing plants to bloom out of season isn’t anything new. It’s why we can get bouquets of tulips in the fall and roses for Valentine’s day. Not to mention with efficient logistics and trade partnerships we can get pretty much any out-of-season delicacy we desire anytime of the year from anywhere around the world. But while I’ve grown accustomed to year-round cut flowers and citrus, a live summer blooming shrub in the middle of winter is a newer phenomenon that I haven’t quite wrapped my head around and think perhaps it’s best we collectively don’t.
It’s completely immoral what’s been done to these hydrangeas. While there is a disclaimer on the display that says to keep the plants indoors and out of freezing temperatures, hydrangeas are not a plant typically associated with the indoors around here, so more often than not they end up on porches or in the chilled ground as a first attempt to manifest warm weather and mock other flowering plants that are forced to wait for appropriate seasonal cues to foliate and bloom.
I’ve witnessed first-hand the existential crisis that will occur should these hydrangeas survive the remainder of winter and PNW spring. They end up spending the entirety of the growing season trying to figure out who they are and where they’re at. It’s like they have to cope with amnesia and jet lag at the same time. Come midsummer, the flower heads lose their spirit and the leaves that haven’t dropped off turn odd shades of red and purple – ultimately unable to determine if it’s their biology or the cosmos that has betrayed them.
Let’s stick to the tried and true late winter classics.
The injustice doesn’t end there. Consider the unsuspecting patrons desperate for some color, some life. They just want something they can use to resuscitate their front entrances from the death grips of Jack Frost. They don’t have time to read the fine print or think critically. Pansies and primroses are old news. Hellebores and winter heaths are overdone. A big leaf hydrangea should do the trick! And of course because it’s on sale in February then surely that is correct and a clear sign that garden season has begun: groundhog be damned.
Sadly just as the shrub is destined to succumb to an alien climate, an eager would-be gardener will no doubt interpret the withering plant as their own lack of skill and not see it for the retail magic trick that it is.
What is the purpose of being able to purchase blooming hydrangeas in the middle of winter? Is this something people were begging for – or do they decide it’s something they need because it’s there? Whatever the reason, it’s absurd, it’s irritating, and I can only hope people start connecting the dots before more hydrangeas are forced to suffer the consequences of poor merchandizing and purchasing decisions.
Kamryn Everett frequently writes a garden column for the Key Peninsula Newspaper in Washington state.
Let the Shrubs Sleep originally appeared on GardenRant on January 31, 2025.
The post Let the Shrubs Sleep appeared first on GardenRant.
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